Post by Misha

It is, once again, that time of year. 

This year, I’ve found it especially hard to complete my list. The problem is obviously not a lack of good music, nor can I in good faith point to the usual culprit of having too many favorites to choose from. It’s mostly that, frankly, I’ve been a bad music blogger this year. Forget the blogging part, actually; I’ve been a bad music listener. 

For a lot of Music People (TM), I think, inner life is like a finely tuned jukebox. Feelings go in, and songs – meticulously selected for their ability to soothe, celebrate, release, or otherwise meet the emotional needs of a moment – come through the speakers to do whatever work the psyche leaves undone. It is a precious and, at times, life-preserving mechanism.

But this year, for me anyway, some wires got crossed. I continued to feel a lot of things, but found myself less and less able to match what I was feeling to any point on the sonic landscape, unable to locate myself within a familiar geography. Unable to help myself be less lost. And this made 2020 all the more jumbled, all the more disorienting and bleak.

There were, of course, far more consequential events that marked this year, but none of them made me feel quite so detached from my sense of self, so unsynced with the person I’ve built myself to be, than this daily failure to find pleasure in music. 

It feels inaccurate, or at least too casual, to call this a list of favorite songs from 2020. It can perhaps more accurately be described as a collection of the songs that broke through. Songs that reminded me of myself, and of the simple joy of listening. The ones that reminded me to keep looking for more. It is shorter than these lists usually are, and probably a bit less exhaustive. As in past years, each song is accompanied by a brief poem.

If you like what you hear, I encourage you to click through to the artists’ Bandcamp page and buy some of their music. If you find yourself wanting more, may I suggest checking out a couple of my favorite year end lists – namely those compiled by Said The Gramophone, Musicophilia, and Hanif Abdurraqib. OK without further ado etc etc –

∇
Bartees Strange // Boomer

a sound made of verbs
defiant rollercoaster,
brief firefly world
//
\\

∇
Waxahatchee // Fire

a whisper of leaves
red as a fresh coat of paint
on the rainslick road
//
\\

∇
SAULT // Strong

splitting at the seams
with dance and mourning and all
the friends of triumph
//
\\

∇
BACKXWASH // God Has Nothing To Do With This Leave Him Out Of It

vertigoed ascent
the kind with claw marks in it
and yawned jaws below
//
\\

∇
Sun June // Karen O

soft and surefooted
like a perfect lipstick print
on an empty glass
//
\\

∇
Eve Owen // So Still For You

lungs full of sulphur
and sodden sweetgrass, fireworks
hissing in the rain
//
\\

∇
Naeem // Simulation (ft. Swamp Dogg)

blinks of LA sky
pasted between northeast trees
in glossy collage
//
\\

∇
Rina Sawayama // XS

what looks like glitter
from a distance is really
shards of falling glass
//
\\

∇
Illuminati Hotties // Will I Get Cancelled…

high speed collisions
choreographed, relentless
smelling of vengeance
//
\\

∇
Swamp Dogg // Sleeping Without You Is a Dragg (ft. Justin Vernon, Jenny Lewis)

the ghost of regret
buttery and resplendent
between the headlights
//
\\

∇
Frank Ocean – Cayendo

the god of losses
paints the closed door of the sun
in a bruised palette
//
\\

∇
Adrianne Lenker – two reverse

skeletal and warm
pirouette of the last leaf
falling in the sun
//
\\

∇
Al Riggs & Lauren Francis // Apex Twin

the airless journey
to the sea floor is dark, then
luminous with bones
//
\\

∇
Angie McMahon // If You Call (ft. Leif Vollebekk)

an old friend in a
new coat, come to take you home
from this street lamp dream
//
\\

∇
Phoebe Bridgers // Halloween

night again, dark as
the back of a throat closing
around an old dream
//
\\

∇
Thanya Iyer // Into The Water

a world of pools
like eyes blinking up warmly
from the eddies
//
\\

∇
Fiona Apple // Under The Table

the red wine simmers
we are in earthquake country
and may never leave
//
\\

∇
Bon Iver // AUATC

dollhouse world, tiny
and teeming with lonesome
passing through the sun
//
\\

∇
Jeffrey Silverstein // Bernard

dusty waiting room
out the window the sun is
always going down
//
\\

∇
Anjimile // Your Eyes

a swan of gold foil
scatters into shape and light
fluttering westward
//
\\

∇
Jordana // Big

a sense of hunger
for the detritus of love
drawn in sharp clean lines
//
\\

∇
Cleo Sol // Why Don’t You

the sun’s warmth and the
rhythmic clatter of somewhere
something being built
//
\\

∇
Hannah Georgas // Just A Phase

video game horse
racing past orange horizon
frontierless and full
//
\\

∇
Kassa Overall // Visible Walls

finding and losing
the same constellation in
undulating sky
//
\\

∇
Joan Thiele // Le Vacanze

mountains draped in silk
like a forgotten ballroom
in the grey blue sky
//
\\

∇
Matt Berninger // One More Second

hopeful warning signs
line the highway to the cliffs
handsome with dread
//
\\

∇
Andy Shauf // Changer

after the party
empty bottles stand around
blinking in the sun
//
\\

∇
Sam Lynch // Keeping Time

yellow moonlight tipped
by melodious cupfuls
into a warm bath
//
\\

∇
Perfume Genius // On The Floor

a lavender blush
spreading bruiselike through the air
beaming in the rain
//
\\

∇
Ganser // Emergency Equipment And Exits

simmer and snake in
along the seams and creases
fill the locks with noise
//
\\

∇
The Fur // Oh Why

grassy fields untouched
by anything but golden
end of summer light
//
\\

∇
Bad Bunny // Ignorantes

distant explosions
in a television screen
deep underwater
//
\\

∇
Taylor Swift // Cowboy Like Me

dimly lit night sky
the contours of an escape
written in the stars
//
\\

---

That’s it. That’s the end. You thought I wasn’t going to include one of the Taylor Swift songs in there, didn’t you? Well, you were wrong.

Happy 2021, see ya next year 🙂