Post by Misha
Fourteen months ago I was falling in love with a cat named Michel, and, if we’re being honest, the man belonging to him, the music he listened to, and the books he read –
(the man, not the cat).
I didn’t call it that, of course – L*ve. I arrived late at night and left early in the morning. I brought my toothbrush stuffed in a bag and brushed quickly and guiltily in the downstairs bathroom so that he wouldn’t see how presumptuous I had been. But that’s what it was, anyway.
And though I never gave it a name, it was nice that I still remembered how to feel it.
By January I had remembered what heartbreak felt like, too.
I try not to think about how he’s doing because I know the answer will upset me, and the fact that the answer upsets me will upset me more because I want to be the kind of person who wants him to be happy. So I try not to think about it.
Illuminati Hotties are a tenderpunk band from Los Angeles. I saw them at a show a couple of months back and keep coming back to this song for its exuberant sadness. Buy (You’re Better) Than Ever here.