TUNES // Stella Donnelly – Boys Will Be Boys
Post by Misha
an unedited poem
one day when i was eleven my mother told me
about things that were going to happen to me.
told me, because she knew
and my grandmother said be careful
they only want one thing and lord knows
boys will be boys
so i never even had the chance to be surprised
when that boy stuck his tongue
into my mouth when i agreed to help him
practice his scene for drama club
even though he said he wouldn’t.
even though we’d talked about it.
and I wasn’t surprised
when crying i told the boy i loved
and he said, ‘why didn’t you push him away?’
and ‘i think we should break up’
boys will be boys
the night they sat on the edge of my dorm room bunk
drinking plastic bottle rum and
ranking every girl on the floor
they gave me an 8, so I guess they thought it was ok
and we drove to in n out one hangover sunday and
one of them yelled at a girl jogging in the sun
strong, lovely, alone & at peace.
she took her headphones out and
i watched her face change in the rearview mirror
while someone talked about animal fries
he was one of the good ones
i always thought but you know
boys will be boys
or when he pinned me up against the wall of that cheap nightclub
pushing my face into the exposed brick
so i couldn’t see the hands that wrung me out
and when i said ‘stop’
and he said ‘hang on i’m almost finished’
i wasn’t surprised
just tired of being right
boys will be boys
—
I’m so fucking tired of these fucking words. I’m so tired of how empty and lazy they are, and I’m tired of how much work they do, too.
Stella Donnelly is a singer and songwriter from Perth. Her startling EP, Thrush Metal, took me by storm this week (and inspired this rough poem). At first listen her songs seem to fall in with the wealth of lo-fi indie singer-songwriter music being created today a la Julien Baker, Frankie Cosmos, and others – but there’s something in Donnelly’s take that is fresh. Perhaps it’s the softly strummed melodies and vocal stylings that call to mind big band jazz and blues influences. Something that’s small and big in a way I haven’t quite heard before. Whatever it is, I haven’t been this captivated by five songs in quite some time. Buy Thrush Metal here.