there’s this terrifying moment during Drugs where i recall what it’s like being me
// by misha
then the edge catches on something
like a fingernail –
the engine sputters
a light pops out
with a smile.
anxiety asks to bum a cigarette
& holds it to my lips
lit end first.
a pinball drops thru the paddles &
lands between my eyes
the neighbors upstairs have sex
i can’t go to sleep.
i don’t want to wake up.
my skin is a screensaver.
if i could boil the blood down to whatever’s left
i’d smoke it again.
Shiny Wet Machine is the punk project of Sizzy Rocket, my newest brat pop obsession. Part K. Flay, part Kathleen Hana, this song goes in for the kill and sticks around to splash in the blood. I stuck it on repeat the other day during a nasty come down and this poem happened.